So in 13 days my oldest "baby" will be starting high school. I think the past three months I have been in serious denial. I have otherwise been distracted by summer, poopie diapers, and teething to name a few. But man oh man, here we go.
My son is an awesome kind of kid. He is smart, funny, temper mental, he really is 1/2 mom and 1/2 dad. He is so ready to begin this journey and have all these experiences that come with being a teenager. I frankly, am scared shitless. I was only 5 years older than he is now when I had him, and I pray every day that when the time comes and he faced with a difficult situation he makes good choices for himself. How do you know if you've done a good enough job with your kids? How do you know if you've instilled the morals and values that it takes to become a kind, accepting, good person? Well, I guess you just know when you know.
It's like you blink and they have armpit hair. I feel like he is ready, I feel very optimistic that he will be interested in good grades rather than JUST cute girls. Ahhhhh, the anxiety is setting in. I love that boy more than he'll ever know. He'll be great, it's me that's going to crumble. He might be my oldest but he is my baby. I was just a baby when I had him, so mine and his bond was always a lot different that most. We grew up together, we were always brutally honest with each other, he's growing up so fast.
Okay, so I'm in tears now. Must exit the blogging world and manage these emotions in the real world. It will be good, I have to embrace him and his youth and remember that he is no longer that 3 year old that loved his Hot Wheels almost more than his Momma. He is a sweet, smart, handsome young man that is excited for his future. I MUST embrace this at all costs. Support him and love him. Cherish him and teach him. Geeze...I am such a baby. I love you EJC...here's to the next 4 years!!!
